Turning Point
That morning, her father drove her eldest sister to Lotus du Coeur to change shift with Chong-Lan's mother, who took care of her at night. Married and moved to Hu-Wei, her eldest sister accompanied Chong-Lan all the way here, rain or shine. Always, she quickly prepared Chong-Lan's food and responded to her needs with great care at every moment. She had had become the important source of love and warmth for Chong-Lan.
"If it's not sweet, come back for an exchange!" Chong-Lan urged the student volunteers to eat more Chinese dates. One bite after another, she bit into the fruit with crispy and juicy sounds. Chong-Lan said, now that she had a break from IV drips, she had to take full advantage of it and eat more. Otherwise, she had to get an IV drip again soon. A while later, a nurse came in to disinfect the wound on her shoulder where drugs were injected in. Talking through the nurse's arm, Chong-Lan suggested to everybody have lunch together at Cafe Taiwan. Then, she was discussing the new menu with some senior volunteers.
I contribute so I exist, because I feel others' care.
Your happiness is my most sincere hope, because I am loved in the same way.
Your smile is what I hope for. Wish you peace forever.
There are countless events and barriers in life. You have me with you along all paths of life.
At noon, student volunteers came as they promised to do a sign language show for Chong-Lan. In a good mood, Chong-Lan, lying in her bed, took big bites from her plate.
Because she had fully accepted what her life would bring on, every moment of get-together was filled with joy despite her family's hard time to truly let go. Because Chong-Lan greeted every caring face so generously with her shining smile, friends and volunteers could enjoy being her company without any worry and could learn to accept the necessary path of life. Nevertheless, the psychological storm that she went through was so heart-tearing that, even after a long period, it was still a dreadful memory.
"It was 2005, about January 10th plus, my doctor told me I might have something more than a stomach ulcer!" Chong-Lan said that her doctor made an appointment for her with the colorectal division, and the surgeon insisted that she must get an imaging test the next day.
Next day after the test was done, Chong-Lan kept feeling that something was wrong and took to read the report. "What!" She uttered in panic, "Rectal... cancer." Chong-Lan read it out loud, word by word. She turned to her eldest sister and asked, "why is it written rectal cancer?" Her sister tried to console her by saying that it was written on the report that it SEEMED to be rectal cancer.
As if in a trial, it was confirmed in the clinic that she had cancer. "How old are you?" the doctor asked Chong-Lan. "35." With a sigh, the doctor said, "At such young age! It was kind of late." "Yesterday when I examined you by palpation, I already wanted to tell you that you may have rectal cancer, but without scientific tests, I couldn't be entirely sure."
The doctor told her the definite answer, and he urged Chong-Lan to begin her treatment soon. With the advanced technology that we have nowadays, it should not be too late.
"You must do it!" The doctor's words overwhelmed her mind. Everything seemed to stop moving in the clinic. About a minute later, tears started to fall. She did not cry, but her tears kept falling. Finally, she could not sit still any longer. She turned to her sister and began to cry very hard. "How come? How come!" An unanswered question tore up her heart with pain and grief.
It was really cold that day and drizzling in the air. "How can it be so cold, so very cold!" Recalling the piercing cold, Chong-Lan said it was probably from the hard blow that she had just received. After walking out of the clinic, she and her sister cried all the way through the long corridor inside the hospital and all the way on their drive home.
Although wearing more than enough warm clothes, Chong-Lan could not feel any warmth. "It was so chilly that I cold feel it throughout my bones!" In the car, she kept telling her sister that she felt so cold, while tears were persistently falling down and still did not stop when they got home. That day, it seemed to be such a long way home!
"I'm still young. How can it be!?" When Chong-Lan recalled this experience, she could not help but contracted her eyebrow. At that time, she suffered in deep confoundedness.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Chong-Lan 2007 -- Part II
Sign
"One night I had a dream. I dreamed about my own funeral."
Looking ahead, eyes sparkling, Chong-Lan said, "It's held at home, and I can remember very clearly which picture of me was used!"
The ambience was full of warmth. It did not have a trace of sorrow from the funeral. So did Chong-Lan recall. Her funeral was not plain white as a traditional one, but decorated with her favorite pink flowers. There were fragrant lilies, not the usually-used chrysanthemum. "I can remember clearly who came to attend my funeral! There were my boss, colleagues, my boyfriend, my family, cousins, and [buddhist] sisters." Chong-Lan said that in fact she did not know at that moment any Tzuchi medical volunteers, though now they were very much like friends and seniors to her. But, she knew they were Tzuchi sisters in her dream.
Chong-Lan did not feel sad that she dreamed about her own funeral. The next day when she went to work at the Chinese medical clinic, she took out the picture in her purse and asked her colleagues that, in case she would have an accident and could not speak consciously, they must remind her family of which picture ought to be used in the funeral. "Nuts!" Her colleagues nagged at her. A few days later, a cousin called to chat and Chong-Lan retold her dream. Her cousin told her to buy a lottery, saying she might get the first prize!
This was the dream she had half a year before discovering cancer. She could still recall clearly, and she was preparing little by little for her ideal funeral.
Posing in front of the huge poster of A Story of Endless Love, a Korean TV romance, the picture captured Chong-Lan's joy from her holidays aborad. "The girl in this romance died from cancer. Look at me, now I'm also a star, now I also have cancer!" Flipping through the photo album, Chong-Lan laughed. This was the trip to Korea that took place two years ago, before she knew about her illness.
As a matter of fact, the signs of illness had had appeared for quite a while. Maybe it was her positive attitudes that allowed her to enjoy her journey. When her boss knew about Chong-Lan's planned trip to Korea, he attemped to stop her. He told her that he would pay for the deposits required by the travel agency, because he was worried that, in case something would go wrong in Korea, Chong-Lan would not be able to get any help. However, Chong-Lan still thought that her diarrhea and blood in the stool were caused by the usual problem - stomach ulcer. "As long as I don't eat anything spicy in Korea." Chong-Lan convinced herself to go and not to care so much about it!
Two months later, the first downturn of her life soon launched its ambush.
"One night I had a dream. I dreamed about my own funeral."
Looking ahead, eyes sparkling, Chong-Lan said, "It's held at home, and I can remember very clearly which picture of me was used!"
The ambience was full of warmth. It did not have a trace of sorrow from the funeral. So did Chong-Lan recall. Her funeral was not plain white as a traditional one, but decorated with her favorite pink flowers. There were fragrant lilies, not the usually-used chrysanthemum. "I can remember clearly who came to attend my funeral! There were my boss, colleagues, my boyfriend, my family, cousins, and [buddhist] sisters." Chong-Lan said that in fact she did not know at that moment any Tzuchi medical volunteers, though now they were very much like friends and seniors to her. But, she knew they were Tzuchi sisters in her dream.
Chong-Lan did not feel sad that she dreamed about her own funeral. The next day when she went to work at the Chinese medical clinic, she took out the picture in her purse and asked her colleagues that, in case she would have an accident and could not speak consciously, they must remind her family of which picture ought to be used in the funeral. "Nuts!" Her colleagues nagged at her. A few days later, a cousin called to chat and Chong-Lan retold her dream. Her cousin told her to buy a lottery, saying she might get the first prize!
This was the dream she had half a year before discovering cancer. She could still recall clearly, and she was preparing little by little for her ideal funeral.
Posing in front of the huge poster of A Story of Endless Love, a Korean TV romance, the picture captured Chong-Lan's joy from her holidays aborad. "The girl in this romance died from cancer. Look at me, now I'm also a star, now I also have cancer!" Flipping through the photo album, Chong-Lan laughed. This was the trip to Korea that took place two years ago, before she knew about her illness.
As a matter of fact, the signs of illness had had appeared for quite a while. Maybe it was her positive attitudes that allowed her to enjoy her journey. When her boss knew about Chong-Lan's planned trip to Korea, he attemped to stop her. He told her that he would pay for the deposits required by the travel agency, because he was worried that, in case something would go wrong in Korea, Chong-Lan would not be able to get any help. However, Chong-Lan still thought that her diarrhea and blood in the stool were caused by the usual problem - stomach ulcer. "As long as I don't eat anything spicy in Korea." Chong-Lan convinced herself to go and not to care so much about it!
Two months later, the first downturn of her life soon launched its ambush.
Chong-Lan 2007 -- Part I
"Perhaps from tomorrow, I'll be breathing very, very heavily! I know it's a necessary path. But now I'm very happy, very content!"
Laughters spilled through her door. A window open towards the west greeted the afternoon sunshine. The light wandered freely, passing every corner of her hospital chamber. Chong-Lan, checked in again into Lotus du Coeur Hospice, liked to open her window and draw away the curtain, so she could enjoy the soothing wind, so she could savor the delicious food to her heart's delight, and so she could be nutured by love and warmth from people surrounding her.
By the end of the sentence, her throat had suddenly tightened up, again Chong-Lan had to fight with her only weapon - coughing - against the lymph liquid that sprawled over her lung. Seemingly, she had exhasted all the strength she could garner. Bean-size sweats permeated through her hair. At the next second, however, her twisted eyebrow would loosen up into a full blossom and she was again the joyful girl who loved to share her life stories with voluteers and told jokes as if she had settled beyond life-and-death worries.
Besides the constant and severe pain transmitted all the way up from her leg, she had to, with great efforts, deal with the feeling that she was gradually losing her strength. "Staying in Lotus du Coeur is nothing but relaxing and pleasant. It's an 'easy job' for which I don't need to punch cards and work but still get paid, not like the docs and the nurses who have to work so hard!" Chong-Lan's words always came as a surprise and made people laugh.
After loosing her health and her love, Chong-Lan felt that she had actually gained more.
Laughters spilled through her door. A window open towards the west greeted the afternoon sunshine. The light wandered freely, passing every corner of her hospital chamber. Chong-Lan, checked in again into Lotus du Coeur Hospice, liked to open her window and draw away the curtain, so she could enjoy the soothing wind, so she could savor the delicious food to her heart's delight, and so she could be nutured by love and warmth from people surrounding her.
By the end of the sentence, her throat had suddenly tightened up, again Chong-Lan had to fight with her only weapon - coughing - against the lymph liquid that sprawled over her lung. Seemingly, she had exhasted all the strength she could garner. Bean-size sweats permeated through her hair. At the next second, however, her twisted eyebrow would loosen up into a full blossom and she was again the joyful girl who loved to share her life stories with voluteers and told jokes as if she had settled beyond life-and-death worries.
Besides the constant and severe pain transmitted all the way up from her leg, she had to, with great efforts, deal with the feeling that she was gradually losing her strength. "Staying in Lotus du Coeur is nothing but relaxing and pleasant. It's an 'easy job' for which I don't need to punch cards and work but still get paid, not like the docs and the nurses who have to work so hard!" Chong-Lan's words always came as a surprise and made people laugh.
After loosing her health and her love, Chong-Lan felt that she had actually gained more.
瓊蘭 Chong-Lan 2007 -- Introduction
Chong-Lan, the youngst daughter of my eldest uncle, was a cousin from my dad's side. She was a joyful girl who loved to chat and joke around with people. In April this year, she bidded goodbye to us and went to Heaven for her new job as a fairy.
Before she left, she temporarily stayed in the Lotus du Coeur (心蓮) hospice at the Tzuchi Hospital, Da-Lin. As she always did, soon she gained the hearts of doctors, nurses, buddhist sisters and volunteers. Everybody just loved her so much! Thanks to them, we had a 20-page booklet recording the last three years of her life on earth.
As Chong-Lan's dear little cousin, I was not there to say goodbye in person, but I would like to translate this little booklet so that I could share her life, her thoughts, and her happiness with my friends and whoever bumping into this blog and happening to be reading these posts.
Note: Tzuchi is a buddhist hospital, attracting many buddhist volunteers who are called "sisters" (since most of them are female). The sisters, not like the catholic sisters, are usually not nuns.
Before she left, she temporarily stayed in the Lotus du Coeur (心蓮) hospice at the Tzuchi Hospital, Da-Lin. As she always did, soon she gained the hearts of doctors, nurses, buddhist sisters and volunteers. Everybody just loved her so much! Thanks to them, we had a 20-page booklet recording the last three years of her life on earth.
As Chong-Lan's dear little cousin, I was not there to say goodbye in person, but I would like to translate this little booklet so that I could share her life, her thoughts, and her happiness with my friends and whoever bumping into this blog and happening to be reading these posts.
Note: Tzuchi is a buddhist hospital, attracting many buddhist volunteers who are called "sisters" (since most of them are female). The sisters, not like the catholic sisters, are usually not nuns.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Rach 3 = 拉三
這兩天老王和老大連接丟來問是否 Rach 3 = 拉三？是的，等號成立，而且 拉三\equiv拉赫曼尼諾夫鋼琴協奏曲第三號。
第一次對拉赫曼尼諾夫的鋼琴協奏曲產生興趣，是高中音樂老師在課堂上跟我們分享拉二，在長長的震撼結束後，他告訴我們拉二源自於拉赫曼尼諾夫的憂鬱症病史，所以整首曲子是從一開始無法自拔的悲傷逐漸昇華到病癒的重見光明。要說我聽的出來這憂鬱症病史也太假了一點，不過故事賦予聽者的想像，加上曾經罹患憂鬱症的老師將故事娓娓道來時那心有戚戚焉的神情，拉赫曼尼諾夫對我來說就成了自傳導演兼頂尖配樂。
那拉三呢？嘿嘿，今年度的伊麗莎白鋼琴大賽有三位決賽者選了這首參賽，包括氣質無敵大帥哥 Ilya Rashkovskiy！從比賽一開始，他的莫札特就彈得從容自得﹝套老大的話：原來帥哥也會耍天真﹞，決賽第一曲的舒伯特優雅嫻適，而第三曲的拉三... 不知道可不可以用扣人心弦來形容。當他每按下一片琴鍵，就好像吹笛人路過家家戶戶，把聽者心裡嚮往美好樂音的純真渴望拉出門窗，要跟隨著他直到最後一道音符。(好啦，我承認還有眼睛也想一直看著電視螢幕)
如果各位想聽比賽實況或看看他長什麼樣子，大賽網站上有video on demand可以點選，不過動作要快，只到今年9/15。大賽網址在此：http://www.concours-reine-elisabeth.be。
p.s. 這禮拜四考完 Trade，晚上就要去聽氣質帥哥表演喔。
第一次對拉赫曼尼諾夫的鋼琴協奏曲產生興趣，是高中音樂老師在課堂上跟我們分享拉二，在長長的震撼結束後，他告訴我們拉二源自於拉赫曼尼諾夫的憂鬱症病史，所以整首曲子是從一開始無法自拔的悲傷逐漸昇華到病癒的重見光明。要說我聽的出來這憂鬱症病史也太假了一點，不過故事賦予聽者的想像，加上曾經罹患憂鬱症的老師將故事娓娓道來時那心有戚戚焉的神情，拉赫曼尼諾夫對我來說就成了自傳導演兼頂尖配樂。
那拉三呢？嘿嘿，今年度的伊麗莎白鋼琴大賽有三位決賽者選了這首參賽，包括氣質無敵大帥哥 Ilya Rashkovskiy！從比賽一開始，他的莫札特就彈得從容自得﹝套老大的話：原來帥哥也會耍天真﹞，決賽第一曲的舒伯特優雅嫻適，而第三曲的拉三... 不知道可不可以用扣人心弦來形容。當他每按下一片琴鍵，就好像吹笛人路過家家戶戶，把聽者心裡嚮往美好樂音的純真渴望拉出門窗，要跟隨著他直到最後一道音符。(好啦，我承認還有眼睛也想一直看著電視螢幕)
如果各位想聽比賽實況或看看他長什麼樣子，大賽網站上有video on demand可以點選，不過動作要快，只到今年9/15。大賽網址在此：http://www.concours-reine-elisabeth.be。
p.s. 這禮拜四考完 Trade，晚上就要去聽氣質帥哥表演喔。
Sunday, April 22, 2007
寫給兩位收件者的信
Dear 雅莉：
看到新聞標題寫著台南颳起龍捲風的我的確是嚇了一跳，擔心地震頻繁的台灣怎麼又多了一項可怕的天災，但還好人都平安。
剛剛口琴社那邊傳來令人異常震驚的消息。你記得建穎和佩琪嗎？他們仍舊恩愛無比，只是在俄亥俄州念博士班的佩琪上週因病過世了... 很突然的，因為腦瘤。霎時維吉尼亞科大血案變得不那麼讓人驚訝，腦中想的只是，在鎂光聚焦的維吉尼亞州旁邊，在一個我曾經參訪過的俄亥俄州大校園裡頭，有 一個在我生命中曾經如此頻繁出現的人物，竟然會突然告別世界；縱然她已經在2004年夏天暫別我的世界，但我總是理所當然以為：會再在那兒見到的吧！在有 生之年…
一月中要離開台灣之前，媽媽叫我撥通電話給堂姊瓊蘭作最後道別，但我沒有。我跟妳提過的吧？我罹癌的開朗姊姊。年底回到台灣時，媽媽就跟我說了「預估還有 三個月」，我沒有再撥電話不是因為理所當然，不是以為奇蹟一定會出現，而是我們已經道了再見，在那通一個多小時的電話裡，她已經帶著微笑仰望天空，雖然有 時的回眸觀望仍舊透露出不捨，但從敘說對我的掛念和期望中，她也將我手裡圈住的長線慢慢展開。現在的她，是自由飛翔的仙女，但只要抖抖翅膀，透過附在萬千羽 毛上的萬千長線，萬千牽掛她的我們就知道她一定又是笑得樂不可支了。
因為已經說了再見，再說一次，就顯然走味，就放不開手中的線，就飛不遠。
親愛的阿蘭，妳在上面的這半個月，想必已經交友無數，也讓不少神仙捧腹大笑過了吧！我的朋友佩琪個性有點害羞，新來乍到的也可能有點驚訝和不適應，如果妳 看到她的話，可不可以請妳跟她說說話？逗她笑一下？妳知道妳妹妹是小心眼的小氣鬼，但可不可以請妳跟我的朋友說，說她曾經講過的、縱然她大概已經不記得的那 句，那句spur-of-the-moment卻無心傷害到我的話，我會努力把它拋到腦後；請妳跟她說我很對不起，對不起我竟然這麼地小氣。也請妳跟她 說，說她在藍聲的朋友們都想念她，也希望她在建穎的耳邊輕聲告訴他：「別太悲傷。」
看到新聞標題寫著台南颳起龍捲風的我的確是嚇了一跳，擔心地震頻繁的台灣怎麼又多了一項可怕的天災，但還好人都平安。
剛剛口琴社那邊傳來令人異常震驚的消息。你記得建穎和佩琪嗎？他們仍舊恩愛無比，只是在俄亥俄州念博士班的佩琪上週因病過世了... 很突然的，因為腦瘤。霎時維吉尼亞科大血案變得不那麼讓人驚訝，腦中想的只是，在鎂光聚焦的維吉尼亞州旁邊，在一個我曾經參訪過的俄亥俄州大校園裡頭，有 一個在我生命中曾經如此頻繁出現的人物，竟然會突然告別世界；縱然她已經在2004年夏天暫別我的世界，但我總是理所當然以為：會再在那兒見到的吧！在有 生之年…
一月中要離開台灣之前，媽媽叫我撥通電話給堂姊瓊蘭作最後道別，但我沒有。我跟妳提過的吧？我罹癌的開朗姊姊。年底回到台灣時，媽媽就跟我說了「預估還有 三個月」，我沒有再撥電話不是因為理所當然，不是以為奇蹟一定會出現，而是我們已經道了再見，在那通一個多小時的電話裡，她已經帶著微笑仰望天空，雖然有 時的回眸觀望仍舊透露出不捨，但從敘說對我的掛念和期望中，她也將我手裡圈住的長線慢慢展開。現在的她，是自由飛翔的仙女，但只要抖抖翅膀，透過附在萬千羽 毛上的萬千長線，萬千牽掛她的我們就知道她一定又是笑得樂不可支了。
因為已經說了再見，再說一次，就顯然走味，就放不開手中的線，就飛不遠。
親愛的阿蘭，妳在上面的這半個月，想必已經交友無數，也讓不少神仙捧腹大笑過了吧！我的朋友佩琪個性有點害羞，新來乍到的也可能有點驚訝和不適應，如果妳 看到她的話，可不可以請妳跟她說說話？逗她笑一下？妳知道妳妹妹是小心眼的小氣鬼，但可不可以請妳跟我的朋友說，說她曾經講過的、縱然她大概已經不記得的那 句，那句spur-of-the-moment卻無心傷害到我的話，我會努力把它拋到腦後；請妳跟她說我很對不起，對不起我竟然這麼地小氣。也請妳跟她 說，說她在藍聲的朋友們都想念她，也希望她在建穎的耳邊輕聲告訴他：「別太悲傷。」
Monday, April 16, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
Bijection
Should have checked this earlier before presentation...
==
Bijections and cardinality
If X and Y are finite sets, then there exists a bijection between the two sets X and Y if and only if X and Y have the same number of elements. Indeed, in axiomatic set theory, this is taken as the very definition of "same number of elements", and generalising this definition to infinite sets leads to the concept of cardinal number, a way to distinguish the various sizes of infinite sets.
(source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bijection)Thursday, February 22, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Not the Only One ~~~
這件事我是聽同學說的...
話說前幾個月我們系上新進快一年的美麗教授希爾克女士吃完午飯正要進她的辦公室時，正在走廊上聊天的同學目睹她掏出鑰匙，朝門孔插入，轉啊轉的卻都打不開。終於有同學說：
「希爾克，妳的辦公室不是在樓下嗎？」
教授抬起頭看了一下門牌，
「呵，對耶...。」
(註：她的辦公室是樓下同一間。)
話說前幾個月我們系上新進快一年的美麗教授希爾克女士吃完午飯正要進她的辦公室時，正在走廊上聊天的同學目睹她掏出鑰匙，朝門孔插入，轉啊轉的卻都打不開。終於有同學說：
「希爾克，妳的辦公室不是在樓下嗎？」
教授抬起頭看了一下門牌，
「呵，對耶...。」
(註：她的辦公室是樓下同一間。)
Sunday, January 07, 2007
赤木、泰為遊台南
本來已經由小木規劃好的爬鹽山、跟黑面琵鷺玩的七股半日遊，就在我們目睹一樁車禍後泡湯；不過好人小木的善行，一定會感動黑面琵鷺，有朝一日一定會飛到小木眼前讓他看到的。
話說我們一行三人酒足飯飽，從餐廳沿著永華路一路走回小木和泰為停車的佳樂福，卻在正要抵達斑馬線的兩分鐘前，聽到身後傳來轟然巨響，回頭一望，竟是一台黑色賓士衝撞到停在我們左後方的紅色Mini Cooper，又推著她去撞擊停在前方的白色休旅車，瞬間Mini的屁股黑青、車頭凹陷，又在白色休旅的屁股上留下鮮紅吻痕，車燈的玻璃碎裂一地；可是黑色賓士的駕駛沒有停下，在稍微調整方向後竟又失控向右衝去，把嫩青的路樹撞斷一截，再又迎頭撞上樹旁的變電箱，搞得箱破腸流。我們瞪大眼睛看著賓士車慢慢停下，正想說要不要過去探視駕駛是否受傷時，沒想到車身慢慢backu了幾步，竟又加速前衝，只差了毫尺就幾乎撞上待轉區的一排機車騎士！小木見狀立即快撥110，描述事故經過和報上車號後，我們三人就守在那兒等警察出現。
幸運的是，當時被撞的車輛都沒人在車子裡頭，機車騎士也沒人受傷；只有駕駛Mini Cooper的年輕女孩事發五分鐘後要過來開車時，震驚地哭了出來。後來小木到警局作目擊者筆錄時 (好心小木體諒泰為從新竹過來，而我也快要回去比利時，便說筆錄或之後若要上法庭的話由他作證即可)，才知道當時駕駛突然心肌梗塞，到下個街口就停下並被送醫急救，只是很不幸地情況並不樂觀；真的還好還好沒有傷到人，不然駕駛要是知道了一定會很難過的吧。
不過，雖然小木是好人，我一定要說一下他昨天的笨事啦！對話發生在餐廳裡頭，
我：「說到開花店，我有同學之前經營過花店，後來......，也曾經在京華城賣過珠寶。」
木：「啊，去賣『豬』肉漢『堡』呀？」(認真貌)
泰：「赤木......」
哈，不過我也滿笨的。在小木待在警局作筆錄時，為了不讓遠道而來的泰為什麼都沒參觀到，我就帶著他到安平古堡附近嘗嘗安平小吃，但因為怕小綿羊的龍頭我掌握不穩，便請泰為騎車而我指路，但在回到我家那條巷子時，
我：「到了到了，我家是這一間，等等喔，我開一下車庫的門。」(我便拿出遙控器對車庫的鐵捲門按了又按，按了又按...)
我：「咦？為什麼打不開？」
轉頭只見泰為一臉疑惑地看著隔壁車庫的鐵捲門慢慢打開...
我：「呃，那一間才是我家...」
話說我們一行三人酒足飯飽，從餐廳沿著永華路一路走回小木和泰為停車的佳樂福，卻在正要抵達斑馬線的兩分鐘前，聽到身後傳來轟然巨響，回頭一望，竟是一台黑色賓士衝撞到停在我們左後方的紅色Mini Cooper，又推著她去撞擊停在前方的白色休旅車，瞬間Mini的屁股黑青、車頭凹陷，又在白色休旅的屁股上留下鮮紅吻痕，車燈的玻璃碎裂一地；可是黑色賓士的駕駛沒有停下，在稍微調整方向後竟又失控向右衝去，把嫩青的路樹撞斷一截，再又迎頭撞上樹旁的變電箱，搞得箱破腸流。我們瞪大眼睛看著賓士車慢慢停下，正想說要不要過去探視駕駛是否受傷時，沒想到車身慢慢backu了幾步，竟又加速前衝，只差了毫尺就幾乎撞上待轉區的一排機車騎士！小木見狀立即快撥110，描述事故經過和報上車號後，我們三人就守在那兒等警察出現。
幸運的是，當時被撞的車輛都沒人在車子裡頭，機車騎士也沒人受傷；只有駕駛Mini Cooper的年輕女孩事發五分鐘後要過來開車時，震驚地哭了出來。後來小木到警局作目擊者筆錄時 (好心小木體諒泰為從新竹過來，而我也快要回去比利時，便說筆錄或之後若要上法庭的話由他作證即可)，才知道當時駕駛突然心肌梗塞，到下個街口就停下並被送醫急救，只是很不幸地情況並不樂觀；真的還好還好沒有傷到人，不然駕駛要是知道了一定會很難過的吧。
不過，雖然小木是好人，我一定要說一下他昨天的笨事啦！對話發生在餐廳裡頭，
我：「說到開花店，我有同學之前經營過花店，後來......，也曾經在京華城賣過珠寶。」
木：「啊，去賣『豬』肉漢『堡』呀？」(認真貌)
泰：「赤木......」
哈，不過我也滿笨的。在小木待在警局作筆錄時，為了不讓遠道而來的泰為什麼都沒參觀到，我就帶著他到安平古堡附近嘗嘗安平小吃，但因為怕小綿羊的龍頭我掌握不穩，便請泰為騎車而我指路，但在回到我家那條巷子時，
我：「到了到了，我家是這一間，等等喔，我開一下車庫的門。」(我便拿出遙控器對車庫的鐵捲門按了又按，按了又按...)
我：「咦？為什麼打不開？」
轉頭只見泰為一臉疑惑地看著隔壁車庫的鐵捲門慢慢打開...
我：「呃，那一間才是我家...」
實在
「看天上的飛鳥，牠們不耕種也不收穫，牠們還不是不會挨餓，天父還是養活牠們。野花既不摘織，還是這樣美麗。就是所羅門王極榮華的時候，他所穿戴的，還比不上這朵花清秀美麗呢！野地裡的草，今天開得很漂亮，明天就可能被丟掉，上帝尚且給野草這樣的妝飾；何況那有放著你們不管的道理呢？
你們這小信的人哪，不要愁吃什麼，喝什麼，穿什麼，不用擔心這個，又擔心那個。只要把一切交給全知的天父，先去尋求祂的祖國吧。不要為明天的事而擔心；明天的事，自有明天去擔心。一天的辛勞，只要一天去擔當就夠了。」
出自：登山寶訓，「聖經的故事」，山室靜 著，沈黑潮 譯，志文出版社，p.173。
你們這小信的人哪，不要愁吃什麼，喝什麼，穿什麼，不用擔心這個，又擔心那個。只要把一切交給全知的天父，先去尋求祂的祖國吧。不要為明天的事而擔心；明天的事，自有明天去擔心。一天的辛勞，只要一天去擔當就夠了。」
出自：登山寶訓，「聖經的故事」，山室靜 著，沈黑潮 譯，志文出版社，p.173。
Thursday, January 04, 2007
重生？
經小逸一問，回來看看這地方是否還能死馬當活馬醫，因為之前連結舊文章一直有問題，所以也索性整個放著不管；不過剛剛試驗的結果，似乎已經不藥而癒。
不過這個索性不管其實也不然全是地方的問題，根源還是因為腦袋空空，沒材料可寫吧。
這一年來算是近十年生涯中最「單純」的時光，幾乎是心無旁鶩地每天在家裡和研究室中遊走，外加隔一陣子就一番的同學間的酒酣耳熱，心裡覺得既虛又實。虛的是那股無由的、只會口頭說說的年少熱血已然降至恆溫，不過卻也在同時，不知道是歲數已到或是外在環境，漸漸能夠忖起因為腳踮著實地的那點份量，心頭最大的擔憂竟是深怕自己還是不學無術，好不容易被重力吸著的卻又無法站穩腳步。
(另外一個擔憂則是自己的國文造詣，媽呀，我現在連選字常常都會搞不清楚到底要選哪個啦！)
想想這單純的最初源頭應該和小巴脫不了關係，似乎他的 discipline 和 down to earth 終究可以把我內在紊亂的紋理整理成一條條可能還辨識不清，但已大致成型的規律，好像磁鐵從紙張下劃過一般，上頭原來胡亂散坐的鐵粉也終究跟著安分站定。好像過去那城市的車水馬龍與繁華多姿已經變成現在的嘈雜喧鬧，歸來三個禮拜的我已經想念起小城的安詳靜謐，想往鄉間逃去；夜裡，該只有隆隆的風聲與偶爾的夜歸談笑不是？
昨夜，老王笑說距離產生美感，雖然對象不同，但鄉愁不也是如此？在比利時垂涎想念著寶島美食，可是真正回來後卻是有點期待落空似的食慾不振；真正掛念的，其實是年復一年身材漸漸變型的爸媽。晚上跟著爸爸去賣場採購鮮奶與麵包 (因為爸爸擔心我白天一個人在家不吃不喝、成天昏睡)，跟他說我要買罐美式花生醬帶回去給嗜吃此物的小巴，爸爸臉上露出好奇又想念的表情說：「啊，小巴喜歡吃這個東西啊？」不善言詞的他語句簡拙，但卻有厚厚的關愛與一絲絲的寂寞；就像昨晚和癌症末期的堂姐瓊蘭講完電話時，滿溢著關懷卻又不捨的靜默無言。小巴和堂姐，是我見過最能讓內向的爸爸開懷大笑的兩個人，雖然只見過兩次，但一臉老實的乖乖牌小巴似乎非常投爸爸的緣。從大賣場回家後，爸爸的表情映在心中，心裡也跟著對到現在還不會講中文的小巴生起了悶氣，不能跟老爸老媽溝通簡直就是萬惡不赦的罪孽嘛！雖然媽媽笑說他打來時會說：你好，我是小巴，不過這可是連鸚伍都學的會的話，哼，一定要想辦法逼他去上中文課，什麼藉口都沒有用，哼哼。
清晨入睡之前，想跟佛祖請求：如果神蹟不是普世可得，也希望您能輕拂露水，讓瓊蘭的痛與不安被點滴緩和。
不過這個索性不管其實也不然全是地方的問題，根源還是因為腦袋空空，沒材料可寫吧。
這一年來算是近十年生涯中最「單純」的時光，幾乎是心無旁鶩地每天在家裡和研究室中遊走，外加隔一陣子就一番的同學間的酒酣耳熱，心裡覺得既虛又實。虛的是那股無由的、只會口頭說說的年少熱血已然降至恆溫，不過卻也在同時，不知道是歲數已到或是外在環境，漸漸能夠忖起因為腳踮著實地的那點份量，心頭最大的擔憂竟是深怕自己還是不學無術，好不容易被重力吸著的卻又無法站穩腳步。
(另外一個擔憂則是自己的國文造詣，媽呀，我現在連選字常常都會搞不清楚到底要選哪個啦！)
想想這單純的最初源頭應該和小巴脫不了關係，似乎他的 discipline 和 down to earth 終究可以把我內在紊亂的紋理整理成一條條可能還辨識不清，但已大致成型的規律，好像磁鐵從紙張下劃過一般，上頭原來胡亂散坐的鐵粉也終究跟著安分站定。好像過去那城市的車水馬龍與繁華多姿已經變成現在的嘈雜喧鬧，歸來三個禮拜的我已經想念起小城的安詳靜謐，想往鄉間逃去；夜裡，該只有隆隆的風聲與偶爾的夜歸談笑不是？
昨夜，老王笑說距離產生美感，雖然對象不同，但鄉愁不也是如此？在比利時垂涎想念著寶島美食，可是真正回來後卻是有點期待落空似的食慾不振；真正掛念的，其實是年復一年身材漸漸變型的爸媽。晚上跟著爸爸去賣場採購鮮奶與麵包 (因為爸爸擔心我白天一個人在家不吃不喝、成天昏睡)，跟他說我要買罐美式花生醬帶回去給嗜吃此物的小巴，爸爸臉上露出好奇又想念的表情說：「啊，小巴喜歡吃這個東西啊？」不善言詞的他語句簡拙，但卻有厚厚的關愛與一絲絲的寂寞；就像昨晚和癌症末期的堂姐瓊蘭講完電話時，滿溢著關懷卻又不捨的靜默無言。小巴和堂姐，是我見過最能讓內向的爸爸開懷大笑的兩個人，雖然只見過兩次，但一臉老實的乖乖牌小巴似乎非常投爸爸的緣。從大賣場回家後，爸爸的表情映在心中，心裡也跟著對到現在還不會講中文的小巴生起了悶氣，不能跟老爸老媽溝通簡直就是萬惡不赦的罪孽嘛！雖然媽媽笑說他打來時會說：你好，我是小巴，不過這可是連鸚伍都學的會的話，哼，一定要想辦法逼他去上中文課，什麼藉口都沒有用，哼哼。
清晨入睡之前，想跟佛祖請求：如果神蹟不是普世可得，也希望您能輕拂露水，讓瓊蘭的痛與不安被點滴緩和。
Friday, June 02, 2006
旅遊旺季
怎麼說是旅遊旺季呢？因為24號期末考完隔天就要開始我為期將近一個月的義法西之旅囉！
6/25-7/1 羅馬
主要是27號要去研討會發表paper, 所以來回機票還有三晚的四星級飯店都是主辦單位出的 :=D
7/2-7/15 比、法
高中同學阿英和芳如(應該)會來歐洲拜訪，之後一起周遊比、法兩個禮拜，如果她們儘快訂到回程機位的話...
7/17-7/21 Palma de Mallorca
去參加在這個西班牙渡假小島上舉行的暑期學校，主題是貧富不均與所得重分配。雖說是渡假小島，不過每天課程滿滿，呀呀。小金主︰系上，可能大金主︰比利時政府的研究基金，備胎大金主︰指導教授。（希望可能大金主趕快把比利時人所得重新分配到我身上呀！）
6/25-7/1 羅馬
主要是27號要去研討會發表paper, 所以來回機票還有三晚的四星級飯店都是主辦單位出的 :=D
7/2-7/15 比、法
高中同學阿英和芳如(應該)會來歐洲拜訪，之後一起周遊比、法兩個禮拜，如果她們儘快訂到回程機位的話...
7/17-7/21 Palma de Mallorca
去參加在這個西班牙渡假小島上舉行的暑期學校，主題是貧富不均與所得重分配。雖說是渡假小島，不過每天課程滿滿，呀呀。小金主︰系上，可能大金主︰比利時政府的研究基金，備胎大金主︰指導教授。（希望可能大金主趕快把比利時人所得重新分配到我身上呀！）
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
壞掉
blog的template前一陣子莫名其妙壞掉，原先template的內容不知怎的全部消失不見。目前先挑了一個新的，但 customized sidebar 大概就要等到六月底才有時間弄回來了。
最近實在有點小忙，但歸咎起來也有部份原因是自己 lack of discipline，東西證不出來就狂吃狂睡，結果更是把腦袋弄的昏昏沉沉的，惡性循環呀！
但今天還頗高興，下午去打了好久沒碰的網球，雖然一開始打的亂七八糟 (Bart agreed that I sucked..)，但後來總算有漸入佳境 :) 下禮拜和同學約好要去嘗試 Squash，畢竟運動還是紓解壓力的王道呀！
最近實在有點小忙，但歸咎起來也有部份原因是自己 lack of discipline，東西證不出來就狂吃狂睡，結果更是把腦袋弄的昏昏沉沉的，惡性循環呀！
但今天還頗高興，下午去打了好久沒碰的網球，雖然一開始打的亂七八糟 (Bart agreed that I sucked..)，但後來總算有漸入佳境 :) 下禮拜和同學約好要去嘗試 Squash，畢竟運動還是紓解壓力的王道呀！
Monday, April 24, 2006
Remittances - 移民匯款
Los Angeles Times 的系列報導: The New Foreign Aid
"My wish is to have them all home, each with a little job, a dignified job. Every mother here feels the same." - Sanchez, from Ayoquezco, Mexico, takling about migrants to the U.S. from her village.
"My wish is to have them all home, each with a little job, a dignified job. Every mother here feels the same." - Sanchez, from Ayoquezco, Mexico, takling about migrants to the U.S. from her village.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
We are not criminals
US mass protests for immigrants ~ BBC News
Unions, civil rights groups, schools and churches oppose a bill in Congress which would make illegal immigration a full criminal offence.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
The Alchemist - a plain story with a few good passages
前幾天剛看完Paulo Coelho的The Alchemist，沒想像中那麼好看，說教意味有點太濃，反而壓縮了讀者自我省思的空間；書皮上引用Austin American-Statesman的書評：「As memorable and meaningful as Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince.」，我倒認為小王子在故事創意和作者隱身的功力上還是勝上好幾籌。
但我還滿喜歡下面這段對話的：
The camel driver, though, seemed not to be very concerned with the threat of war.
"I'm alive," he said to the boy, as they ate a bunch of dates one night, with no fires and no moon. "When I'm eating, that's all I think about. If I'm on the march, I just concentrate on marching. If I have to fight, it will be just good a day to die as any other."
"Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see there is life in the desert, and there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now."
Two nights later, as he was getting ready to bed down, the boy looked for the star they followed every night. He thought that the horizon was a bit lower than it had been, because he seemed to see stars on the desert itself.
"It's the oasis," said the camel driver.
"Well, why don't we go there right now?" the boy asked.
"Because we have to sleep."
讓我想起探險家爺爺的幽默。
但我還滿喜歡下面這段對話的：
The camel driver, though, seemed not to be very concerned with the threat of war.
"I'm alive," he said to the boy, as they ate a bunch of dates one night, with no fires and no moon. "When I'm eating, that's all I think about. If I'm on the march, I just concentrate on marching. If I have to fight, it will be just good a day to die as any other."
"Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see there is life in the desert, and there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now."
Two nights later, as he was getting ready to bed down, the boy looked for the star they followed every night. He thought that the horizon was a bit lower than it had been, because he seemed to see stars on the desert itself.
"It's the oasis," said the camel driver.
"Well, why don't we go there right now?" the boy asked.
"Because we have to sleep."
讓我想起探險家爺爺的幽默。
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