Chong-Lan 2007 -- Part II

Sign

"One night I had a dream. I dreamed about my own funeral."

Looking ahead, eyes sparkling, Chong-Lan said, "It's held at home, and I can remember very clearly which picture of me was used!"

The ambience was full of warmth. It did not have a trace of sorrow from the funeral. So did Chong-Lan recall. Her funeral was not plain white as a traditional one, but decorated with her favorite pink flowers. There were fragrant lilies, not the usually-used chrysanthemum. "I can remember clearly who came to attend my funeral! There were my boss, colleagues, my boyfriend, my family, cousins, and [buddhist] sisters." Chong-Lan said that in fact she did not know at that moment any Tzuchi medical volunteers, though now they were very much like friends and seniors to her. But, she knew they were Tzuchi sisters in her dream.

Chong-Lan did not feel sad that she dreamed about her own funeral. The next day when she went to work at the Chinese medical clinic, she took out the picture in her purse and asked her colleagues that, in case she would have an accident and could not speak consciously, they must remind her family of which picture ought to be used in the funeral. "Nuts!" Her colleagues nagged at her. A few days later, a cousin called to chat and Chong-Lan retold her dream. Her cousin told her to buy a lottery, saying she might get the first prize!

This was the dream she had half a year before discovering cancer. She could still recall clearly, and she was preparing little by little for her ideal funeral.

Posing in front of the huge poster of A Story of Endless Love, a Korean TV romance, the picture captured Chong-Lan's joy from her holidays aborad. "The girl in this romance died from cancer. Look at me, now I'm also a star, now I also have cancer!" Flipping through the photo album, Chong-Lan laughed. This was the trip to Korea that took place two years ago, before she knew about her illness.

As a matter of fact, the signs of illness had had appeared for quite a while. Maybe it was her positive attitudes that allowed her to enjoy her journey. When her boss knew about Chong-Lan's planned trip to Korea, he attemped to stop her. He told her that he would pay for the deposits required by the travel agency, because he was worried that, in case something would go wrong in Korea, Chong-Lan would not be able to get any help. However, Chong-Lan still thought that her diarrhea and blood in the stool were caused by the usual problem - stomach ulcer. "As long as I don't eat anything spicy in Korea." Chong-Lan convinced herself to go and not to care so much about it!

Two months later, the first downturn of her life soon launched its ambush.